Fifteen Things That Make Me Happy 

I was tagged by nanabobo567! =]

1. I’m not sure it’s ‘happy,’ per se, but Anberlin’s music, especially their Cities album, makes me feel like myself. I love it all the time, but especially whenever I’m experiencing depersonalization or derealization whatever, it helps me feel real and remember that I - and the things around me - exist.

2. Food! Making it, sharing it, eating it…if I had the money, I’d love to just make (and consume) delicious meals and desserts and snacks constantly. Autumn especially makes me super hungry, almost like I’m preparing to hibernate, but instead, I just get fatter! ^_^

3. Speaking of which - being fat and getting more fat! I feel amazing finding new stretch marks, feeling my belly jiggle against my thighs as it starts to hang a little lower, seeing my super chubby cheeks get even rounder…I love every inch of me, and it turns me on so much to know that I’m still growing. My fetish makes me happy! 

4. Cuddling with theorangemage and our stuffed animals. :3 I’ve never been anywhere that I’ve felt safer or more loved than in bed with my Noodle’s arms around me. He’s incredible, beautiful, and so important to me. I love you sweetie! ♥

5. Autumn! Gray rainy chilly days, bright sunny colorful days, all the decorations and smells and flavors and pumpkins! It makes me feel more alive.

6. Super-soft long-sleeved shirts/sweaters. I’ve always felt beautiful and so comfy in them. =]

7. Tumblr friends that I don’t talk to that much but still mean a lot to me (there are so many of you! I love you!)

8. Hugs. Especially long ones.

9. Pictures and videos of cute animals.

10. Tea!

11. Nerdfighteria, the Green brothers, and decreasing worldsuck (DFTBA!)

12. The Eiffel Tower

13. learning new science things!

14. the breakfast scene from Casper (the 1995 movie.)

15. WTNV! =]

(this got pretty difficult toward the end, my life is boring and I’m honestly just not that happy a person most of the time because mental illness is a hell of a happiness thief. but I tried! If you want to do it, go ahead!)

I mean god damn look at how fat and cute I am. :3

I mean god damn look at how fat and cute I am. :3

I’m having a good time on vacation but I also really miss my Noodle. It’s weird being on vacation with his family…without him. I feel slightly out of place. But his niece really like me and I’m getting along with his little brother more than I thought I would and the view from the deck at our suite is incredible. But not having the closeness and the warmth that comes from being in bed or even just on the couch with my sweetie is a jarring difference to my usual pace. On the bright side, I’ve made it my goal to stay as full as I can while I’m here so I can hopefully get to my goal weight and I feel so sexy and fat around all of these thin upper-middle class yacht owners and the tourists and college kids…like my belly jiggles so much when I’m walking and I just get so tempted to dig into my softness when I feel it bounce against my thighs. There’s a wall-size mirror in one of the bathrooms that shows me just how big I’ve gotten…unnnffff. Unfortunately, it’s pretty impossible to masturbate with 6 people in a 4 person suite, sleeping on the couch bed, but that’s another reason I really wish my sweetie was here : belly rubs. They’re just not as good when you give them to yourself. But anyway….

tl;dr I’m having a good time, I really miss Noodle, and I’m hot and fat as fuck.

Ooooohhhh…Michael is such a good feeder when I’m high and we’re both awake…he just went to get me a fried chicken bacon clubhouse meal, a McDouble, a 10 piece McNugget, and some skittles.

Watching him pull out of the driveway was a turn on.


at one point I thought people’s negative reaction to feedism was mostly due to fatphobia but I’m beginning to think I was wrong

it’s ENTIRELY due to fatphobia

(Source: youreyoungerthanyourealize, via theorangemage)

I’m really high, cute (with a bunch of our stuffed animals on our dresser), hot, fat, and horny tonight. In case you forgot that I love being fat, that I love my body, and that my Noodle is hot as fuck. Just thinking about how much I wish he was here gets me like this. (Feedist fetishy part next:) Thinking about him makes me remember how hot it is that I’m over 50 lbs heavier than I was when we met 2 years ago…fuck, it’s making me wet. Unfff.

A year of selfies. :)


When people who haven’t met my girlfriend ask about her, a part of my brain wants to describe her as follows: “She’s got a smile that fills up a room, and the rest of her is getting there…”

Every time I need a pick-me-up, I read this :3

tagged as: #personal #love #Michael #lust #fat #feedee #feedism

I just went to Golden Corral and ate so much and I’m so full and it’s such a great feeling. :3

I felt so pretty when I took this :3

I felt so pretty when I took this :3

tagged as: #personal #nsfw #feedee #selfie

I’m fat. I’m jiggly. It’s hot. Protip: click the gif. The frame rate’s a lot better. I get a lot jigglier. :P

I’m fat. I’m jiggly. It’s hot. Protip: click the gif. The frame rate’s a lot better. I get a lot jigglier. :P

Sometimes belly doesn’t want to stay locked up in my pants like a cage. It seems I’m outgrowing these capris… :3

Sometimes belly doesn’t want to stay locked up in my pants like a cage. It seems I’m outgrowing these capris… :3

I’m super hungry but I don’t want fast food. I’m just burnt out on it. And I don’t want to take the time and money to buy and make and clean something myself because I know that I’ll be the only one that eats it and I might as well just cut up my debit card and top it with ranch and eat that because I spend so much of my money on food that I eat in one sitting. being a feedee is expensive; being a foodee feedee is really fucking expensive and hard, because I find fast food really boring and it does terrible things to my digestive system when it’s all I eat for a while. =/ Urgh.

tagged as: #feedism #feedee #frustrated #hunger

Belly is empty and sad, my back is killing me, but I slept well, and got cuddles :3

tagged as: #personal #hungry #feedee

This morning, so far, I’ve eaten:

three stadium bratwurst, in a bun with spicy brown mustard
about two pounds (ish) of incredibly tender, moist, juicy barbecued loin back ribs slathered in Sweet Baby Ray’s bbq sauce
roughly half a cup of mustard potato salad
two ears of corn, buttered
a few buttermilk and herb potato chips
a few scoops of cannoli ice cream in a cone
brown sugar-maple-rum-vanilla-cinnamon sauce glazed peaches (two full fresh ones) with vanilla ice cream

and I’m still hungry. Some days I can just never get full and I wish I could just get fatter with every bite I’m just so frustrated with this plateau. I keep gaining and losing the same ten or so pounds and I just wish I had the money to eat the way I wanted to constantly.

Unnfff, I’m so fat and frustrated.